Shalom everyone, we are looking for beta testers to report back to us on the functionality of the new All-In-One Lapid Judaism Roku Channel we are planning on making available next week in the official Roku Channel Store.  Basically what we need are for people to add the channel for free to their Roku devices and then report back to us in the comments of this post and let us know if the functionality is working well on your Roku and we want to also know what you like and don't like in terms of the channel so we can make it better for you.  You can add the channel to your Roku by clicking the icon below:

We have been getting numerous emails from people wanting a preview of the Lapid Jewish Aramaic New Testament.  So we have decided to upload a free downloadable PDF of the Gospel of Matthew from the Lapid Jewish Aramaic New Testament so you can see how it reads and to see some of the translation scholarship you are curious about.  Enjoy and make sure to pass this link around to friends. 

R' Bonville: You have released a new translation of the Brit Chadasha in Aramaic tell us a little about this one and why it is different from other Aramaic translations currently being sold

Christopher: Certainly, well first of all there are wonderful translations out there from greek texts from later Hebrew texts and as you have noted Aramaic texts.  Now I got frustrated years ago when I noticed that most Aramaic translations out there currently are from what is called the UBS collection.  Now, there is nothing wrong with the UBS but it serves a different function than what some are looking for.  For example, we have the Masoretic of the Hebrew Tanach and it is a majority text  comprised of many texts which has formed the majoriative text.  We all rely on the Masoretic whether we realize it or not, but as a language nerd I like to look at the texts that comprised the Masoretic and the textual chronology with including the Targumim as well as the Septuagint.  

This brings us to my Aramaic text, which we used the Khabouris, the Yonan texts mainly which are the two oldest texts.  Then when in question to differences in the two I would break the time using the 1199  Houghton Codex.  Now with the UBS we have older documents and newer documents that are used as equals.  Texts such as the Old Syriac and others for existence are not even "Old" as the title would seem to indicate, it pops up around the 16th century as was known to be an Aramaic translation from the greek.  So when you put a text like that and give it the same weight as the Khabouris you are gonna have trouble in  seeing the uniqueness of the oldest Aramaic texts.  

R' Bonville: Where did you learn Aramaic and what is it's importance to you?

Christopher: That is a wonderful question.  First of all I was brought to the Aramaic about 13 years ago, when I was learning Hebrew.  I came across the Khabouris in Ashuri script, and for your readers who don't know the Ashuri is the same as the Hebrew Defus script we are all familiar with.  So, I bought an Aramaic dictionary, and then a collection of semitic language dictionaries.  I later crafted my Aramaic fluency by studying under Ewan McCloud who is one of the leading scholar in Aramaic and I learned Aramaic in Ashuri, Estrangela, Serta and Swadaya Script.  This translation earned me my moreh certification in Aramaic actually.  

In terms of it's importance to me, it was the Aramaic that brought me back to Yeshua many years ago.  And when you look at, for instance, the Targums of Onkelos it is such an important part of textural chronology, especially when you see the through texts such as that the underlining commentaries within it that Onkelos had incorporated in out that shows us what the understanding was of passages at that time.  Considering we have Aramaic as early back as the text of the Genesis in the Masoretic and Aleppo and Lenigrad Codexes and of course the Targumim that pre-date the first century it should be very important to us.  Also, most scholars note that the Jews during the days of Yeshua spoke predominantly Aramaic in the Jewish world at this time, the history dating back to the Medo-Persian Empire and Babylonian Exile and seeing it in Daniel shows there is major importance of Aramaic in the Jewish world.  And well as the fact many of the texts we hold dear such as the Talmud and Zohar were all written in Aramaic not Hebrew.  I love following the chronology of thought and we have Biblical texts that allows us to do this. 

R' Bonville: Now you are well known as an Aramaic Primist, most I know who are like you don't like greek translations, any thoughts on that?

Christopher: Lets be objective and honest here.  The scholarship is split down the middle in terms of Aramaic and Greek primacy.  So to diminish the Greek is dishonest and shouldn't be done.  And let's look at what is in publication now in the Messianic world that is used often.  The Scriptures 98, is translated from the greek, the Complete Jewish Bible, also translated from the Greek, the Delitzsch Hebrew is a greek text translated into Hebrew.  We owe a lot to the greek texts and I am not ashamed to say that I have at least 10 Greek bibles on my bookshelf and I hold them in high regard.  I love Phil Gobel's OJB and though it has ashhkinazi Hebrew transliterations, it is a NKJV Bible with transliterations from the Masoretic and the Delitzsch Hebrew and again the Delitzsch is a Hebrew translation of the greek.  Greek is important in terms of textural chronology.  So I try and be objective and though I am an Aramaic Primist, I love greek Bibles.  

R' Bonville: Why the Aramaic transliterations? 

Christopher:  Well, I dunno how old you are, but I remember there became an interest in 2004 in Aramaic because of the Passion of the Christ, then after the movie was in the theaters interest in Aramaic pleated.  Now, Aramaic has a rich history within Judaism and sadly hardly anyone knows Aramaic anymore.  It is a dying language and if we didn't have the Ashuri script of Aramaic and if we didn't have Eliezar Ben Yehudah advocating for the Jews to learn Hebrew in the late 19th Century then Aramaic would be dead.  Aramaic primists like myself , need to get people excited about Aramaic again.  

So, being a fan of Gobel's OJB, I said "that is so cool what he did with the Hebrew transliterations, I should do that with my Aramaic translation".  So that is what I did.  I thought this would help people in terms of discussing Aramaic and learning key vocabulary in Aramaic and it may peak their interest in learning Aramaic.  And I think it is one step closer to bring people's interest back to this language that has such a rich history that has almost become forgotten.  

R' Bonville: What was the biggest obstacle in translating the Lapid Jewish Aramaic New Testament?

Christopher: Honestly, my attention span lol.  Juggling between two documents and trying to use them in  concert with one another and then using a third text as a tie breaker at times takes a lot of time.  I have horrible anxiety and sometimes I would spend an hour on just one phrase saying "ok be unbiased how should this render?" .  And sometimes I would pull in the Delitzsch to help me out, or thousands of pages I have taken notes on over the years in several binders from numerous scholars in the Aramaic world I have attended lectures with and such.  Sometimes I would pull out commentaries to help me out.  And the process was definitely frustrating at times because it is a process that took close to 12 years.  My patience is not that good usually lol.  So sometimes i would put it down and not touch it for months out of frustration.  But I would constantly come back to it.  

R' Bonville: Can you give an example of something people will be surprised with in your Bible?

Christopher: They will be surprised I think with how helpful the transliterated key words are.  For instance, this is something that stocked me early on.  As you know ins Semitic languages most words have many definitions.  But in translations we only get one of them.  One example is the word Khaye, now the word Khaye, which is used over 100 times in Aramaic Khabouris and Yonan Codexes and both codexes agree each time it is used, the word Khaye has a double meaning.  It means both "life" and "salvation".  Many times when your Bible translates life or salvation in your new testament, the other word is also applicable because the two are one in the same.  So you can imagine how that context allows the text to open up in a way that many do not realize.  Now, because of this New Testament people will see it there and realize the double meanings or triple meanings in the text.  That I think is going to help people amazingly in their study.  

R' Bonville: Is there any commentary with your Bible?

Christopher:  Honestly, I love many of the Chumashim I have, I love Artscroll's stuff because of the commentaries.  I am an Artscroll fanatic.  I love commentaries, but I chose not to put as single line of my commentary in here for a few reasons.  First of all, there have been some Messianic translations I have liked from Aramaic texts but the non-textural commentaries I found to be inaccurate and I saw a sectarian thing going on because of it.  I didn't want to be part of that because I know how I was turned off by many of them because the scholarship of Artscroll wasn't there.  

Now, I do have the Rabbinic Gospel series where there is not my commentary but rabbinic footnotes from rabbinic texts, but I didn't do that with this New Testament.  

Also, my publisher told me if I had any commentary I would have to fit it into 2 pages which would be impossible.  I wanted to do some appendixes but instead of selling a separate volume I decided to release a free PDF in about a few weeks about how I translated certain things and why I translated certain things a certain way that differs from many greek translations.  And that PDF will be free in a few weeks.  

R' Bonville: You don't have to answer if you think I am out of line.  But you are the sole translator of this Bible and you have said on the radio people should only buy translations that are made by a team.  How do you justify your translation then?

Christopher: Do not worry I am not offended, and that is a wonderful question.  It may sound weird but I stand by my statement.  What is the reason for a team?  Peer review of course.  Now, I have combed over my notes from lectures and conversations from theological and linguistic scholars.  I can tell you, I would say about 70% of these notes and conversations I have had with these individuals and scholars actually come from them and what I have learned from them and things we have discussed.  I have piggy backed on m any scholars I hold in high regard.  I have combed through thousands of pages of notes on the linguistics from them.  Many phone and Skype conversations when I have been stuck etc.  Also, I had them peer review this text in it's early form before it was released.  So unlike some others, I can say I have had the best team which is a bunch of uncredited scholars and things they have taught that I took down notes from.  Then I had sent my early draft off to them and said, "tell me if anything needs to be changed".  I would discuss certain changes that one suggested with the others and then tried to make a decision based upon the input from all of them and take the majority consensus.  

It should also be noted, unlike some, I didn't do this for the reason of putting out a product.  It was done because there has been a huge hole in the community for good Aramaic texts and I just felt led to do this mainly for my own study.  Then I saw one very popular translation was discontinued and I said, "the void needs to be filled" and so I decided to step into the void but I made sure I had good peer review.  So that is a very fair question and I appreciate you asking it.  

R' Bonville: What do you hope to ultimately accomplish from this? 

Christopher: I am not hoping for any sort of individual accomplishment in terms of sales or notoriety.  What my ultimate goal is to stir an interest in Aramaic and for people to see it's amazing importance.  I find it amazing people are learning Hebrew I love that so very much, but also I think after learning Hebrew people need a slight push to be able to learn Aramaic.  And considering this is the language every scholar almost agrees that Yeshua taught and spoke Aramaic I think we in the believing community should be the ones who preserve the Aramaic.  And I hope in seeing the richness of the Aramaic in this text people will gain an interest in Aramaic and start using it more and maybe e the Hebrew and Aramaic Learning Institute, which I run, would not be the only place people can go to learn Aramaic.  I would love to see more people teaching Aramaic and more people learning it and using it in their teachings and on the social media.  I donno how many we will spark an interest in because of this, I really don't but I would like to think I have been able to help that community come a little closer to the forefront because of this.  

R' Bonville: What books other than yours would you recommend for people interested in languages?

Christopher: Oh my there are several.  First I would say to learn the languages a little bit before buying a lot of books.  But the Baal HaTurim series from Artscroll is awesome, he goes through textural anomalies and gematria in the Torah for every Torah Portion, it is a 5 book set and it ids amazing. I also really like the Pirkei Chotam series, now unless you can understand kabbalah methods to some degree it may be a little more complicated but I love it.  A good primer is Rabbi Michael L Munk's Wisdom in the Hebrew Alphabet.  Also, ArtScroll's series on Onkelos, they have only released Bereishis and Shemos this far but it is amazing because they compare the Onkelos Aramaic alongside the Masoretic Hebrew texts so you get two in one and the footnotes show why Onkelos chose to render certain things differently from the Masoretic and it is amazing.  

R' Bonville: Any plans on a Tanach?

Christopher: Nooooooo!!!!  Kol Menechem, Artscroll and Feildheim have many amazing ones and they cannot be improved on in my opinion.  The New Testament and Aramaic are too often neglected and I originally did this for my own study, so me releasing it was not something I planned on initially.  But I can promise you I will not do a Tanach.  

As many of you know this years Torah Study we do live through the Zoom app every Friday is a beast in terms of content and texts being used each week for the various segments (Semeitic Language in the Torah Portion, Hasidic Theology, The Messiah in the Torah, The Midrash Rabbah on the Torah Portion, and the Zohar Reading).  Next year I want to simplify it.  Next year I am thinking of simplifying it for myself and for those who are engaging in the study as well.  On average I ready from 20 books each week to get all the notes from the study and next year, it may be good to focus on one commentary or one aspect of the Torah Portion cycle.  Here are some of the things I am thinking of doing and I want you guys to vote on which thing you want to see being taught on next year below:

On Wednesday at Sundown we will be entering into the holy time of Purim and reading the Megillah of Esther.  This year, for Jews in the United States, the story will hot home more than in previous years.  

This year in the United States there is a certain political party that holds the legislative branch of government that has booed Israel in their 2012 convention.  A political party, who's main representative in 2010 said that Israel needed to give land to Palestine.  Apolitical party who's leader that same year put his feet on the desk with the bottom of his shoes pointed towards the Israeli Prime Minister which is a Middle Eastern insult.  

Now in 2019, the same political party has a figure known as Ilhan Abdullahi Omar who has filled the chamber of the US House of Representatives with anti-semitic rhetoric, and has written several anti-semitic tweets, and her rhetoric has been supported by her political party.  And yet, when a Fox News correspondent spoke out against Representative Omar's rhetoric she lost her job.  

To make things worse, I recently was a part of webinar put on by the ADL and the statistics they showed shocked me.  In 2018 276 anti-semitic complaints had been filed against CNN not by viewers but by workers, a staggering 38% jump.  MSNBC and NBC had 319 complains filed, a 26% jump from 2017.  ABC and Disney had 198 complaints, a 19% jump from 2017.  

Today if you go to YouTube or Google and type in "Talmud", Google and YouTube promote anti-semitic videos to the top that are filled with lies about the Talmud as well as other jewish texts from anti-semitic bloggers and youtube creators.  

Right now, the plethora of individuals who have thrown their hats in the ring to run for president all have a history of speaking out against Israel and against the Jewish people, and are silent on ISIS and radical Islamic extremism.  I even once worked for one particular candidate that was the CEO of the US's largest coffee establishment.  

When I went to work for this establishment in my area I had a payot and a beard.  When I reported for my first day at work, I was asked, "are you Muslim?"  I said, "no Jewish" and they said, "unless you are Muslim you need to shave your beard and get rid of those stupid curls.  I thought it was a joke, then I was handed the company handbook with the company rules and it said that unless a man is a muslim he is not allowed to have a beard at this establishment.  

Us Jews know that anti-semitism is a real thing, but unlike the LBGTQWTXYZ community and others we do not make make the loud cry these other groups do.  We are a people whom many have called for our extinction and they have lost and we have thrived.  But how long are we going to allow it to continue to keep getting worse?  How long are we going to allow people to treat us like second class citizens?  How long are we going to be the whipping boy?  Well, the story of Esther vs Haman we read in the Megillah shows us that we are a more resilient people than those give us credit for.  During Purim we remember having to practice our faith secretly or be killed.  This is why we wear costumes on this holiday to remember that.  As history repeats itself we know redemption is on the way, we know our extermination is not gonna happen.  But it is gonna take a Mordechai, or an Esther, or a Judas Maccabee to stand up against the modern day Amalek and say "enough is enough.  

For many Christians who come to the realization that the Messiah kept and taught the written Torah of Hashem it is a life changing realization.  There is a mode of immaturity that comes forth at that time where they see their Christian brethren as pagans and use straw man arguments as though it is scholarship.  After a few years a majority grow out of this if they are truly seeking the will of the Creator.  The same thing is true when they realize that Yeshua HaNotzri also taught the oral Torah.  This understanding for many reinvigorates their fire and takes them back to how they felt with their original revelation.  But there is a proper way to approach this.

As a Lapid Jewish rabbi, the oral torah and the words of the sages are a huge part of our faith.  Many who listen to my radio program, or download the podcast version or watch the videos on Vimeo or YouTube or this website are familiar with the way I teach.  But also at the same time, I have also seen the dangers of being overzealous for the oral torah without proper balance.  Let me explain. 

Often a person gets immersed in this "new revelation" of the Oral law and the sages, and it is a vast and amazing amount of researching and knowledge.  The issue I have seen is many jump into these things too quickly and they jump right into the deep end before going into the kiddie pool.  Before long they are overtaken and they then do not focus on the written word and the Brit Chadasha collects dust on the shelf.  They are immersed in Talmud, Tosefta, and other works.  What then happens is that because of the joy found in this new revelation of the oral law they did not accept before they totally and completely immerse themselves in this world and they then deny the deity of Mashiach and the later ultimately deny Mashiach.  The question then is do we then dismiss the Oral Law and the Sages?  Chas v'Shalom (G-d forbid).  

One of the things I advocate is for new believers to have a respect for the works of the Talmud and the sages but not to jump in head first.  If you can afford the works have them ready on your bookshelf for when you are ready for them.  But I would say, let them collect dust until that time.  I would say to start out with the Complete Jewish Study Bible.  Within there, there are footnotes all throughout the Bible from the Oral Law and the Sages.  This Bible does an amazing job of helping people to have a healthy respect for the Oral Law and the Sages without causing them to drown.  This is where a person should start.  

We should ultimately be reminded of the letters of Paul of Tarsus to the Romans and the Galatians.  The Romans and the Galatians had people trying to get the believers to convert to full-fledged Judaism and immerse them in oral law.  Notice that Paul took a "walk before you run" approach.  We need to ultimately understand these positions of Paul.  I would greatly suggest a person read Dr Mark Nanos' books on the subject, his works "The Mystery of Romans" and "Paul Within Judaism" are two books everyone should have on their shelves before they dive into Oral Law.  I would also suggest D Thomas Lacaster's book "The Epistle to the Galatians".  

It is important to understand that our Christian brethren are kosher, most of the Hebrew Roots movement and the Messianic faith's don't want to accept this because they want to grow a club through One Torah Theology which is a very dangerous and unbiblical ideal.  Salvation is not through the Oral Torah, and it is not even through the Written Torah it is through Mashiach and through maintaining shalom.  Dr Mark Kinzer speaks a lot about bi-lateral ecclesiology in his book "Post Missionary Messianic Judaism".  Now, I don't agree totally with bi-lateral ecclesiology 100% but I do 90%.  There are good premises within that book and Kinzer's view that mirror the words of Paul and Dr Nanos.  A person should read these books mentioned above and then be in prayer about where it is G-d wants you to take the next step in your observance.  

At this point as well a person needs to stray from what it is I call "internet theology" there are a lot of misquotes from the Talmud and other sources of Rabbinic Judaism online and they are the ones often quoted.  Some are just flat out lies.  One book has caused these lies to make their way into the mainstream.  The book "Jesus in the Talmud" by Paul Shafer has made claims that the Talmud says Yeshua is boiling in excrement per Gotten 57b when in actuality it says Baalim is boiling in excrement.  Many of the lies and misquotes of the Talmud towards Yeshua people have gotten from this book and Shafer has been shunned by the scholarly community because of his misquotes from the Talmud and flat out lies about it and his heavy anti-semitism.  But Shafer's odd theology has become mainstream on the internet.  So, I encourage people to purchase peer reviewed scholarly materials such as the ones mentioned above.  

I also suggest in terms of looking at what publishers to purchase from, I would say First Fruits of Zion's stuff you can trust because it is peer reviewed and they help a person to have a proper balance of the written Torah and the Brit Chadasha as well as the Oral Law.  Their Torah Club volumes, "Shadows of the Messiah", "Chronicles of the Messiah" and "Depths of the Torah" I highly endorse and I would say to spend maybe 3 years going through these three Torah club sets when you are at this point.  

These steps I suggest because of the fact a person needs to be trained that whenever you start reading the words of the oral torah and the sages to be making the connections to Brit Chadasha.  Making those connections is important and FFOZ, with their Torah Club sets do an amazing job at helping people to do that and it trains them to be able to fulfill mitzvos in a halakhic kosher way while being able to bring it back around to Yeshua.  This is so important.  

When I assembled by book the Rabbinic Gospel of Mark, I said that this book is not for everyone and it should not be for those young in their walk because it will cause their brains to explode with the over 320 footnotes from the sages and the oral law in the footnotes of the Gospel of Mark, and I maintain that.  But also at the same time, it was assembled for the reason of helping those learn halakha in a kosher way and being fixated on Yeshua while they study the words in the Oral Torah and the Sages.  This is so important.  

Once the mind is grounded in finding Yeshua and his halakha in these writings.  I would then say there are a variety of Chumashim that would be helpful as well as other commentaries.  Such as the Gutnick Chumash, The Baal HaTurim Chumash, the Artscroll Onkelos set, the Stone Edition Tanach, and the Chumash with Talmud from Artscroll.  I would also suggest if one finds themselves to be more align with the halakha of Breslov to get the set of Rebbe Nachman's Torah.  At this time, one should check to make sure they are Yeshua centered.  If they feel they are more oral torah centered then they should back off for another year and revisit Torah club for another year with another set of Torah club from FFOZ.  

After this, one should study Shulchan Aruch and the Mishna section of Talmud.  For these are the passages of universal halakha in every sect of Judaism and are the rulings of the Sanhedrin the written Torah tells us to observe.  Take it slow, a chapter of Shulchan Aruch a week or 4 mishnas a week.  One should not be forbidden at this point to study Gemara and Tanya in the Talmud at this time but it should not be their focus.  If the Gemara and Tanya help with greater clarity in terms of the Mishna then it is helpful.  If it is still confusing then try learning Shulchan Aruch.  I have been doing a weekly set of videos every week that is free on Vimeo and YouTube on Shulchan Aruch and keeping it Yeshua centered.  This may be a good start on this area of study.  

There are other steps that come after this all the way up to kabbalah studies.  But it is also important to note that one's favor from G-d does not come one's intellect, one's level of study, or even how many halakhic mitzvos one fulfills daily.  Because one may have become a full convert like myself to Judaism, or if one who is born Jewish, we have no greater share in the Olam Haba than those who haven't.  For the Talmud says that a B'nei Noach can be just as lofty in the eyes of Hashem as a Baal HaTorah.  

A person mustn't engage in debates over levels of observance with others who are a part of the Biblical faiths of Judaism or Christianity.  Us Lapid Jews realize it is not for everyone to be like us.  Some belong in the Christian church and connect with Hashem in that way, some connect with Hashem though the Messianic faith, and some with our faith.  It is not our job to have people join our sect of belief, we are just here for those who see this way of belief as aligning with where they want to go and where they think they fit in.  That's it.  For both Paul and R' Bachya talked about how the Torah of life can be the Torah of death.  What gives life in my observance and in my faith may be bondage to someone else, and that is ok.  Not everyone should be like me or others associated with the Lapid Jewish faith.  We are evangelical for one thing, we are evangelical for Yeshua, not the Oral Torah or the Sages.  But our reverence for those things are what it is we use for our evangelism for Yeshua, but we only do so if we walk out what it is we quote.  We don't use the Oral Torah for solely evangelical reasons, we only do so if we are walking it out as to not be hypocrites and to be earnest and honest in our beliefs.

YouTube teacher Elisha ben Yabbadabbadoo has an amazing story to tell about when his soul left his body and he found out that Heaven was Catholic purgatory.  

"Well, I am the YouTube teacher for the pagan police, I have 2 viewers in Israel and my job is to expose paganism", says Mr Yabbadabbadoo.  "I realized that water is pagan, because pagans drink water, food is pagan because....well pagans eat food.  Did you know that toilet paper is not mentioned in the Bible?  But I heard once that Alister Crowley used toilet paper so no toilet paper for me.  I temporarily died of starvation and dehydration and I was taken to heaven where all paganism can't exist.  I was in a white room.  No bed, no table, no air conditioning none of those pagan things."

When Yabbadabbadoo's wife noticed he wasn't breathing paramedics attempted to rehydrate him and inserted within him a feeding tube.  Though in a coma for 2 weeks he was finally revived.  When asked in the hospital what he thought of the feeding tube he said he will have to research if it is kosher to see if any pagans ever had a feeding tube.  Though he says he says he has plans to sue the hospital for giving him a pagan bed and a pagan nightstand and a pagan tv in his room.  His youtube followers are also up in arms and nearly a dozen of them have been picketing outside the hospital, without signs, because they claim Paul Bunion was a pagan and cut wood.  

​Story Developing..........

Here is the study notes for this week's Torah Portion Study which will be live at 8pm EST on Friday Night.  To join the study click the allocated link below to join 10 minutes before the study (7:50pm EST) to join.  If you want to see the previous study click the allocated button below. 

Here is the notes for the live study broadcast at 8pm EST on Friday on Zoom.  

The sacred name community is buzzing over the discovery of a new discovery.  Found within the hills of the Appalachian Mountains of Boone North Carolina, Apostle Prophet Yah ben Yah was on a trek. 

"Well I was doing some work for the Appalachian Bigfoot society, trying to find droppings or just anything we can find" ben Yah says.  "And a native American man approached me with this scroll, he said  Yahbadabbadoo said to give it to me, he knew my name and even my real hair color.  He handed over the scroll with some anointed tzitzit that will help me to stop the nephilim alien invasion."

Ben Yah continues, "He said, 'In two years YahbadabbaShua will return and you need to translate this and publish it soon.' I said, 'Two years?!  OMG!  That's tomorrow!'.  And so I got home and started translating."

Sacred name scholars are stunned. "This is an extremely important find, we see there isn't any vowel markers and the penmanship is impeccable" says Abba Alohym from Christians are Pagan Ministries.  

The scholars at 'Yahbadabbadoo Sacred Name International LLC met at an undisclosed head shop and they all unanimously agreed on this document's authenticity.  They said to expect the first edition of their Bible after they learn how to use find and replace on Microsoft Word.